Countdown to Valentine's Day

 In recognition of the Hallmark Holiday celebrated in mid-February (I believe non-cynics call it Valentine's Day) I will be doing a daily post about love and relationships. Starting tomorrow and ending on February 14th, I will share musings and stories on relationships and love.

Confidence

For me, confidence is the best way to go from attractive to sexy. Confidence is not to be confused w/ smugness or over confidence (i know many people who's over confidence made them laughable and unattractive). Confidence is being comfortable in your own skin. Walking around with your shoulders back and your chin up. I have a small collection of very high heeled shoes (about 4 inch heels). I can only walk properly with these shoes when I'm feeling confident or secure otherwise I would topple over. Since becoming unemployed I've felt my confidence drop. Those shoes have spent most of the last 9 months resting in my closet. About 2 weeks ago I realized that instead of my pumps I'd begun wearing Uggs and sneakers (both sensible shoes considering its January, but not me). I realized that I was losing a part of me. Since then, I've pulled my knee high boots out from storage and started to wear them. Yes, every time I wear them I risk slipping on ice and breaking my ankle but it's a risk I'm willing to take if it means a chance of reclaiming my confident self.

Forced Trip Down Memory Lane

Today I took a forced trip down memory lane. I went downtown for the first time in six months. I went because I had a job interview (and before anyone asks, no I didn't get the job). What made going downtown so weird was my long absence. For the last three years I practically lived downtown while going to law school. I would go downtown sometimes seven days of the week. I used to know so much about the city since I spent more time there than at home. Coming back today was weird. While down there I walked past my old office building and grabbed coffee from the same place I did when I worked. Throughout my entire trip down I was hit with dozens of memories.

When I got back I searched the sent folder of my email. (I did this b/c I've applied to soo many jobs that at times I am blind sided when firms call for interviews b/c I can't remember where I've applied). When I searched through my email I was thrown down memory lane. Apparently Yahoo! holds onto sent emails forever. I flipped through pages and was hit w/ emails I sent to exes, from all the jobs I sent resumes to and never heard back, emails for old classes.

As a person who tries not to live in the past being thrown down memory lane is frustrating. I hate being reminded of opportunities I've lost, people I've dropped out of contact with, but most of all I hate being reminded of the person I used to be.

New Year's Resolutions

I have never been one for New Year's Resolutions, however I decided that this year I would try them out.
1. Lose weight (ideally I would like to lose 10-20 pounds, however I'm more interested in feeling healthy which would include eating healthy and exercising)
2. Balance my work life and personal life (Something I didn't do well when I was in law school)
3. Clean my room (just have to do it once this year)
4. Finish the books I started (editing and writing)
5. Decrease tv viewing (I have to do this in order to finish the rest of the stuff on my list)