I am posting this blog almost a week after September 11th for several reasons. First, I didn't want my post to become white noise with all the other facebook statuses and media coverage. Second, I wanted time to think about what I wanted to post about. I considered blogging about where I was, the immediate fear and shock I felt. I also considered blogging about my young brothers and growing up in a post-9/11 world. I also considered blogging about how 9/11 influenced my writing since I didn't start my novels until after 9/11. Then I was telling a friend about an encounter I had with a woman on Sunday and she suggested I blog about that. So here goes...
Friday, September 16, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
I recently pulled out cds from my college years. Since I commuted to college I had a small collection of mixed cds which I'd sing along with in my half hour commute. Listening to these songs I'm reminded of that 18 year old and what she expected from life. Honestly, there is some things she'd be disappointed with (no full time job, still living at home); but I think there's more she'd be proud of. 18 year old me was scared of planes and never in her wildest dreams thought she'd ever have the courage to fly over the ocean. I've been to Europe twice. 18 year old me dreamt of going to law school, but worried I wouldn't get accepted. This past May I graduated from law school. And above all else, 18 year old me wanted to be a published author. And although the only people who've read my book are close friends and family, I have an actual book with my name on it. Looking back at the person I was, I realized I never thought I'd have the courage to accomplish so much. 18 year old me preferred to dream, too scared to take an actual step towards making those dreams come true. In thinking back at who I was seven years ago I begin to wonder who I'll be in the future. As I start my life post-education I have a million questions in my head. Will I continue to challenge myself? Will I try to accomplish my wildest dreams? Will I be proud at the woman I become? What the hell am I going to do with the rest of my life? Most of the time thinking about the future is overwhelming and terrifying. So maybe, for now, I should just continue to listen to my mixed cds and stop thinking too far into the future.